


Welcome Home

by orphan_account



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone he cares for ends up hurt. It happens every time. He can’t be everywhere at once. He can’t protect them all, so the best thing to do is just push them away. Push them all away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

> Takes Place right before the start of season two

Everyone he cares for ends up hurt. It happens every time. He can’t be everywhere at once. He can’t protect them all, so the best thing to do is just push them away. Push them _all_ away.

It hurts. He hasn’t been home in _months_. He sleeps on the gurney, the one Caitlin always used to patch him up. It’s uncomfortable, but he doesn’t really deserve to be comfortable anyway. Not after what he did. It’s _his_ fault that Eddie and Ronnie are dead. _His_ fault that so many buildings were destroyed. And for what? A selfish choice to save his mother, a choice he ended up not taking.

So, he deserves to sleep uncomfortably and he _deserves_ to feel that ache in his heart when he sees Cisco. And he _definitely_ doesn’t deserve to be called a hero. Because he isn’t one. Heroes don’t get people killed.

A beep from the computer drags Barry from his thoughts. It’s a burglary. Barry’s there and back in record time. He doesn’t even stay to hear the thank you from the police officer – because he doesn’t deserve it. Barry slumps into the chair and it’s almost like he hadn’t left.

“There you are.”

Barry jerks around in surprise and falls out of his seat. “Cisco! W-what’re you… uh doing here?” Barry stutters, climbing to his feet.

Cisco shrugs and walks around the cortex, looking around as if seeing it for the first time. “I’m looking for Barry Allen. Have you seen him? He’s about six foot two, green eyes, can run at super speeds. Oh! And he’s my boyfriend. Think you could help me find him?”

Barry groans and runs his fingers through his hair. “I… probably deserved that.”

“Yeah, you did.” Cisco agrees. “But you deserve this too.”

Barry stumbles forward in surprise when Cisco grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him into a kiss. His eyes flutter shut and he brings a hand up to tangle into Cisco’s hair. _God_. Barry loves Cisco’s hair. It’s so soft. He’s missed touching Cisco.

Kissing Cisco should feel weird. They’re best bros, they hang out together. They get their fill of science jokes and comic books together. They go out drinking – even though Barry can’t get drunk – and they high five when one of them scores someone. So it should feel weird to kiss his best bro.

But it doesn’t. Because Cisco is more than just his bro. He’s the one that’s always there for him, calling the shots in his ear and patching up his suit – _their_ suit. So no, it’s not weird. It wasn’t weird eight months ago and it’s not weird now. Even after nearly five months without a taste of Cisco, it still feels completely natural.

Barry backs up against the wall, pulling Cisco with him. They’re pressed so tightly together that Barry can feel Cisco’s heartbeat. And he can feel the warmth seeping from Cisco’s body. They’re in a familiar rhythm, hands wandering and grasping at clothing. The slide of Cisco’s soft lips against his own. The way Cisco nibbles on his lower lip, biting down sharply before soothing the bite with a swipe of his tongue. It’s all so familiar.

Yet it’s still different.

There’s no sweet, fruity, chocolatey flavor of a tootsie pop – Cisco’s favorite candy. And maybe Barry’s not the only one that’s had a rough few months because the only time Cisco doesn’t eat candy is when he’s upset – the opposite of most people. The worst part is that Barry knows the reason why Cisco’s upset. _He’s_ the reason.

“I’ve missed you.” Cisco whispers against Barry’s lips.

Barry pulls away, turning his head to the side. His breath comes in labored puffs. “I saw you at the precinct yesterday.” Barry points out.

“Not what I meant, dude.” Cisco mutters. He shakes his head and steps away from Barry. “When are you coming home, man? I see you… but I don’t _see_ you. That kiss was the closest we’ve been in _months_. And unless you broke up with me… I’m your boyfriend. You have to let me in.”

“I can’t, Cisco.” Barry says, digging the heel of his palm into his forehead and scrubbing tears away with the other. “Everyone I care about. Every single person is in danger. Because of me, Cisco! It’s my fault that two of my friends, two of _our_ friends are _dead_!” Barry lets his head thud back against the wall and he lets himself slide to the floor. “I can’t let anyone else get hurt. I can’t let _you_ get hurt.”

Cisco tilts his head to the side and sits down beside Barry “I’m not gonna get hurt, Barry.”

“Yeah?” Barry laughs bitterly, avoiding Cisco’s gaze. “What about that time Snart kidnapped you? _I_ should’ve known about that. I should’ve saved you! But I didn’t because I was busy being jealous over the fact that you were going with someone else.” Barry pauses just long to suck in a breath. “Or what about that time where you actually _died_.”

“I’m not dead.” Cisco argues. “I’m alive because of you.”

“No!” Barry almost shouts, his voice rising an octave. “You’re alive because I _accidentally_ went back in time. And what if I hadn’t? You’d still be dead. God, Cisco, I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me.” Cisco says, climbing into Barry’s lap and straddling him.

Barry lets out a breath looks at Cisco with tears in his eyes. “You don’t know that.”

Cisco brushes Barry’s tears away with the pad of his thumb. “Did you know that I actually know everything?”

Barry blinks at Cisco and shakes his head. He can’t help but feel a little amused by Cisco’s choice of words. “No, I didn’t know that.”

“Well, I do. And I can see everything, the future and the parallel universes. And you never lose me. Hate to break it to ya, dude, but you’re stuck with me. Forever.”

Barry blushes and shakes his head with a laugh. It’s the first real laugh – first genuine _smile_ in months. “There’s worse people to be stuck with.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Like… Leonard _Snart_.” Barry says with a scrunch of his nose. “That would be _awful_.”

Cisco leans forward and places his hands on Barry’s shoulders. “Well then, good thing it’s me and not him.” He says, grazing his teeth along Barry’s jaw.

Barry shudders and lets his hands rest on Cisco’s hips. “It’s a _very_ good thing.” He groans. He licks his lips and thinks for a moment before leaning forward and whispering, “Hold on.”

Cisco barely manages to wrap his legs around Barry before Barry’s standing up and running out of Star Labs. A minute later Barry’s setting Cisco on their couch and straddling him.

“Welcome home.”


End file.
